Stressed? Read This.
Being stressed is one of the most uncomfortable states to be in. Loss of sleep, appetite gain or loss, racing thoughts, unsettling feeling and all sorts of other emotions come to surface during stressful times. Everyone has pressure and tension. It goes up and down. Sometimes expected and not expected but I’m here to help you with a small list of things you can do to help you cope in those dreadful times.
Let’s get started…
1. Let go of what does not serve you. Often there are situations that occur where we actually don’t have any control of what’s happening or whose making it happen. It’s important to know the difference between an event you can do something about and one you can’t do anything about. Sometimes you’ve just got to let go of what doesn’t serve you. Whenever I come face to face with stress from something that I can’t control, I literally take a deep breath in and on my out breath I say “Let it go.” Sounds a little crazy for some people but it’s quite freeing realizing that you can’t control crappy events or crappy people.
2. Know the difference between THE EVENT, YOUR FEELINGS TOWARDS THE EVENT and YOUR REACTION. This is a kind of disassociating technique. In some cases, it can help calm the storm instead of keep it brewing with your emotional and not well thought-out reaction. Let me give you an example; You come home to find your roommate has made a complete mess of the kitchen. I’m talking garbage and spills, dishes on the sink, food left out. The EVENT is - your roommate has made a mess. Your FEELINGS towards that are feelings of being disrespected because you live there too. Your REACTION (because you have separated it) was to send your roommate a respectful message asking her to make sure next time she cleans up after cooking and that it doesn’t have to be spotless, just tidied up. Had you not separated those three things you make have had a quick reaction of a nasty text saying how dirty and disrespectful she is only to create more tension and more stress. Before reacting to an event, assess your feelings and decide on a reaction that is best suited to lower the stressful situation than ignite a fire.
3. Make time for yourself. ESPECIALLY during and after a stressful event. Making time for yourself should be a part of your weekly routine anyway but even more so during or after stressful events. Set up a time for you to de-stress and rid yourself of negative energy and let go. My go to is to attend a group meditation. I feel like it’s a good way to remove negative energy and replace it with fresh new energy. I walk out feeling lighter and relaxed. Perhaps just taking a bath with candles, or taking yourself for a drink after work. Find whatever you can with whatever time you have just to relax.
4. Seek social support. Go talk to a friend or family member that you can vent to. It feels good to let it out sometimes instead of keeping that stress bottled inside you. Make sure this person you choose is supportive and gives you solid advice. Although, sometimes advice is not needed at all. Sometimes it’s just good to be heard and understood. I have a friend who literally screams while she tells me a story about someone she’s having problems with. Inside I’m laughing a little bit because I don’t think she realizes it and with the same token I’m happy I can help her get it off her chest. What are friends for right?
5. Breathe. It’s that simple and its scientific. Studies show that breathing techniques are effective against anxiety and insomnia. Breathing techniques take a little time and a little practice but within a few minutes you can feel the effects. They have psychological factors by diverting attention from your thoughts to your breath. Here’s a link that might be helpful for you to get started.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8VwufJrUhic
6. Seek professional help if it becomes too much. There is nothing shameful about seeking out therapy. In fact, I admire anyone who recognizes that they don’t have to deal with things alone and there are outside resources available. The right therapists can be a great sounding board and help you with coping strategies.
Stay blessed not stressed,
Lana
